I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
