Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
