I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
