I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
