Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize