he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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