Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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