Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize