Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
