The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
third nipple confirmed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
