i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
