is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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