Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
