I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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