Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
