it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
