I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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