the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
