So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
