Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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