Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
