I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think I sprained my soul last night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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