when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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