You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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