The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize