It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
