Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
