I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
