Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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