he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
