Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
