He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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