this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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