who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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