So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
