he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Quick, to the slutcave!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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