your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
