this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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