So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
