So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We need a shit load of segways right now
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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