The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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