yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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