Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
