Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
