At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
