We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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