I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
