ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
