Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
