i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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