Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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