walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
