What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
