Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
