Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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