I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
