I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am available for nakedness
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
