you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
