We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i dont even know how to be here
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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