I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
